Gratitude recognizes ‘all of life is a gift’

Mary Gilles of WSU Libraries graciously allowed WSU Today to add music and images to her thanksgiving thoughts. From all of us here at WSU Today, we hope your Thanksgiving is filled with simple pleasures and love.

 

 

 

 

The truth is, that all genuine appreciation rests on a certain mystery of humility and almost darkness. The man who said, “Blessed is he that expecteth nothing, for he shall not be disappointed,” put the eulogy quite inadequately and even falsely. The truth is, “Blessed is he that expecteth nothing, for he shall be gloriously surprised.”   The man who expects nothing sees redder roses than common men can see, and greener grass, and a more startling sun. Blessed is he that expecteth nothing, for he shall posses the cities and the mountains; blessed is the meek, for he shall inherit the earth.   Until we realize that things might not be, we cannot realize that things are. Until we see that darkness we cannot admire the light as a single and created thing. As soon as we have seen that darkness, all light is lightening, sudden, blinding, and divine.   It is one of the million wild jests of truth that we know nothing until we know nothing. -G. K. Chesterton (from the introduction to “Death and Gratitude,” a paper co-authored by Araceli Frias)

With Thanksgiving Day approaching, WSU Today asked readers what they are grateful for. We especially wanted to know about people, places or things here at WSU that are appreciated.

 

Among the handful of responses, two shared something in common: a recent loss or serious health concern.

 

 

Heather Cochran, WSU ’95, wrote to express her appreciation for her colleagues at the Edward R. Murrow College of Communication, many of whom had been her professors when she was a communication major 15 years ago.

 

“After the death of my husband this spring, and the subsequent changes that I have had to make in my life, coming “home” to Murrow this summer, to the college that made me who I am today, has helped me restore balance in my life, and reminded me of my capabilities and zest for life,” she wrote.

 

Cochran thanked a dozen colleagues by name, but said there were even more whom she appreciated: “Thank you, all, for helping me heal,” she wrote. “Happy holiday season to all my colleagues and friends at Washington State University. Go Cougs!”

Even while writing of her gratitude, Cochran was well aware of more challenges ahead. Budget cuts forced the elimination of Cochran’s job at Murrow this month. Her last day is today.

 

 

Still, WSU doctoral student Araceli Frias wasn’t surprised to hear of Cochran’s gratitude in the face of loss. She was co-author on a paper, “Death and Gratitude: Death Reflection Enhances Gratitude,” while earning a master’s degree in experimental psychology with an emphasis in positive psychology at Eastern Washington University. The paper, which she co-authored with EWU professor  Philip C. Watkins, is under review by the Journal of Positive Psychology.

 

Frias and her colleagues looked at the issue in a controlled, experimental environment and discovered that when people were confronted with “what might not be,” they became more grateful for the life they are experiencing.

 

“At the core of gratitude is the sense that all of life is a gift,” Frias said during an interview at the CUB this week. It isn’t that grateful people gloss over the struggles and pain in their life, she said, but they are able to frame their experiences in such a way that they can still feel thankful for what they have.

 

 

Another WSU Today reader who wrote in to express gratitude was Lisa Feltis, who works in WSU Housing and Dining Maintenance Services.

 

“I began working at WSU in a staff position a little over three years ago,” she wrote. “This is the best job I’ve ever had.”

 

Two years ago, when Feltis was diagnosed with breast cancer, she said, her co-workers donated even more leave time than she needed for her treatment and recovery. She’s a respected member of the unit, she said, and the guys in the shop are a tight-knit group who are wonderful to work with.

 

During her illness, she said, her son moved home to help with her care and he was hired by WSU as a time slip employee with the apartments’ grounds crew.

 

“Now he has a wonderful reference from the grounds supervisor and I feel even more grateful to WSU for helping my family as well as me,” she wrote.

 

 

Feeling grateful, researchers say, can help you feel happier and healthier, too.

 

Robert Emmons, a positive psychology researcher at University of California, Davis, focuses on gratitude as the “forgotten factor” in happiness. According to his research, those who kept “gratitude journals” on a weekly basis exercised more regularly, reported fewer physical symptoms, felt better about their lives as a whole and were more optimistic. Not only that, but participants who kept gratitude lists were more likely to make progress toward important personal goals.

 

Expressing gratitude for what one has seems to encourage prosocial behavior, said WSU’s Frias, who is studying problems of culture and power in higher education. As described by Abraham Maslow and others, self-actualized people – those who are living most fully – have an ongoing sense of wonder or appreciation at what life has to offer, Frias said, and those traits are central to gratitude.

 

In our consumer culture, Frias said, everywhere we look we see images telling us that we don’t have enough of something, and that only when we acquire something else will we be happy. Developing a sense of gratitude, Frias said, means enjoying and appreciating the simple pleasures. A new flat screen TV might be cool, but positive psychologists say that over time the little things count more-a good cup of coffee, a friendly server at your favorite lunch spot, or a Cougar victory in the Apple Cup.

 

Okay, that would be a big thing.

 

Greeting from Mary Simonsen, School of Mechanical and Materials Engineering.

Researchers such as Emmons continue to study how a sense of gratitude can be cultivated in daily life and what the long-term benefits might be. But, in the meantime, he and others suggest that counting your blessings, even in the face of adversity, really will make you feel better.

 

Below are some of the comments submitted to WSU about what readers are thankful for. To add your own, please click on “new comment” at the end of this article. 

 

 

After the death of my husband this spring, and the subsequent changes that I have had to make in my life, coming “home” to Murrow this summer, to the College that made me who I am today, has helped me restore balance in my life, and reminded me of my capabilities and zest for life. Special thanks to Sandi Brabb, Prabu David, Lisa Hunter, Tami Vik, Roberta Kelly, Wayne Popeski, Michael McLaughlin, Glenn Johnson, Patty Sias, Michael Salvador, Bruce Pinkelton, Todd Norton, Alex Tan and many others too numerous to name.

Even though they are no longer working in Pullman, I’d also like to thank Elsa Camacho and Tim Hopf, my mentors when I was a student, and remind them that their legacy of caring still lives on. Thank you, all, for helping me begin to heal.

 

Happy Holiday Season to all my colleagues and friends at Washington State University. Go Cougs!

 

 

At the end of 2008 I was diagnosed with breast cancer and I spent the better part of 2009 in cancer treatment. I am so grateful for the support of my co-workers, including those who donated shared leave during my treatment. I even had more time donated than I needed.

 

My department, Housing and Dining Maintenance Services, has strong, positive relations. The guys in the shop are a tight-knit group who have been wonderful to work with—they are great comrades. I am a respected member of this group, which is another blessing I am thankful for.

 

Photo from Marty O’Malley, Environmental Health and Safety

My son moved home and helped me through my cancer treatment and during that time he was hired by WSU as a time-slip employee with the apartments’ grounds crew. Now he has a wonderful reference from the grounds supervisor and I feel even more gratitude to WSU for helping my family as well as me. I plan on retiring here in about twenty years, and I want to give back to this university campus as much as I can.